First man: My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer.

Second man: Well, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?

First man: As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, how do you play this Russian Roulette?

A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, "That's not quite what I had in mind."

Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects his offer, "That's not quite what I had in mind."

Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"

She retorts, "I'd like a divorce."

He answers, "I hadn't planned on spending quite that much."

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you £20 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was paid, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.