Can anyone please advise? I have taken in a stray male cat that we have had now for two weeks. We have had him neutered and he is approx 2-3 years old. We also had blood tests done and he is clear of any nasty illness.
Our problem is that we have another cat (female age 6 years) who is very unhappy. She is staying out for most of the day and just coming in at night for her meal. When she is indoors she wants to get out and is hissing all the time. The male cat is not aggressive to her and he has tried making friends.
He does seem very dominant though and follows me around continuously miowing and want my attention all the time. He is only happy when i pick him up.
I let him out for the first time on Friday and he really doesn't want to be outside and just sits on the doorstep scratching & miowing to come back in. Our cat has stayed out more since he has been in the garden.
I am very worried about my female cat as I have had her from a baby and she has always been such an affectionate, happy little cat.
I put the new one in a room on his own at night, have been giving them both treats when she does come in but she just hisses and gets upset.
I have been giving them both zylkene and have a plug in feliway.
I took the cat in as he was in a bad way, his condition was so bad and he seemed like he was giving up, very very skinnny, flea's & ear mites.
I have advertised that i have found him. he is a lovely little cat that seems to just want human company. wish i could find his owners but people in the area believe he was dumped.
I anyone can offer me advice or has had a similar experience i would appreciate any help.
Or if anyone knows of somebody who can offer him a good home. I live in Pembrokeshire.
   

Hello
What a lucky cat boy to have found you. I hope some solution can be found.
I am also in a similar position so I can completely empathise. I have taken in a stray after trying to find her family through all the usual channels (Newspapers, vets, posters, paper collar, websites, RSPCA, CPL etc). No joy after over 2 months! My vet, to whom I took her to see if she was micro-chipped, said her owner had probably passed away or moved. I tried re-homing her, but it didn't work out, so she's back with us.
My own 11 year old indoor, girl cat, Daisy, has taken against her - she has always been the baby of the family, and is now spending much of her time upstairs, away from the new one. The new girl is very outgoing and a real people cat - she is friendly to everyone, whereas my own girl is very "loyal" to us. Daisy's whole demeanour is telling me she is not happy. After alot of heartsearching, I have registered the new girl with the CPL, but they have a very long waiting list, I feel she really needs a family where she will be number 1. In addition, we have 3 outdoor cats who have also taken against the new girl - she displays "dominant" behaviour, and the fine balance of relationships has been upset. I'm not sure if adjustments will ever be made between them - new girl has been around for a while now and there seems to be no progress, if anything its been made worse by the new one living here.
People have told me all sorts of stories about multi cat households where the cats don't get along and squabble in various ways, not sure I want mine to permanently feel anymore on edge - the indoor/outdoor cat balance currently seems to work on a truce basis which the cats themselves have established, with Daisy being the dominant cat, and we "manage" them mostly by ensuring they don't meet in the house, the outdoor ones only being allowed into 1 or 2 rooms downstairs.
I would have liked to keep her permanently but the rest of the family, including the cats have made it clear its not going to work. Whilst I'm happy for the new girl to stay and get some love and care until she's re-homed, I can't see it as a permanent solution for her here, the others have shown they are not happy and Daisy is clearly unhappiest. I still keep wishing they could manage to co-exist!
I'm not sure if there is any single clear answer - all cats are wonderfully different and different things work for them accordingly. It does sound as if you are doing everything right.
When Daisy came to us about 10 years ago, I had a cat already - a female 18 year old, they squabbled and Daisy gave the appearence of being easy-going (as has the new one now, in the house, in Daisy's presence, but the newbie is very dominant with the others, and Daisy growls, hisses and swipes her). Unfortunately, my old cat only lived another 2 years (yes, I know, 20 is pretty good), but I still feel guilt that those last 2 years were unhappy for her.
I think you maybe in a better position, having a male and female, and their relationship will take time to develop, and may not be as loving as you'd like, but don't give up! Plus, don't forget, it takes a while for the neutering effect to kick in - he'll still have some extra hormones. Just be calm and loving with them both, and hope they come to co-exist happily, even if it takes a bit of management. The usual advice is to introduce your cat to the smell of the new one first (i.e keep him in one room for a week or so, whilst the other has the run of the house), then you could try making him spend more time outside whilst your girl is inside so she gets time alone with you (that's what we're doing now). I know it will be hard for him & you to get used to, but he has to make adjustments too - it sounds as if your girl has to make most of them so far. I'm not sure the Feliway & zylkene is the way to go. It could just mask natural behaviours and prolong the difficult adjustment phase. Is it something that you had in place for your girl already, which might suggest she was not a calm kitty to start with?
If, after a while, its cleary not going to work, don't feel bad about finding him a new good home. Other than registering with the CPL, I have spoken to everyone I know to put out feelers to see if anyone could offer her a good home. One of my local (full) cat sanctuaries suggested I advertise her in the local vets as free to a good home that you would go and vet. Have a look at catchat online for sanctuaries etc.
Both your cats sound very lucky to have such a caring parent.
Sorry to have rambled on, just wanted to share my own experience.
Lets hope someone wise will have some advice for us!
Good luck

(24-11-2011 03:11 PM)bayleafgarden Wrote:  Hello
What a lucky cat boy to have found you. I hope some solution can be found.
I am also in a similar position so I can completely empathise. I have taken in a stray after trying to find her family through all the usual channels (Newspapers, vets, posters, paper collar, websites, RSPCA, CPL etc). No joy after over 2 months! My vet, to whom I took her to see if she was micro-chipped, said her owner had probably passed away or moved. I tried re-homing her, but it didn't work out, so she's back with us.
My own 11 year old indoor, girl cat, Daisy, has taken against her - she has always been the baby of the family, and is now spending much of her time upstairs, away from the new one. The new girl is very outgoing and a real people cat - she is friendly to everyone, whereas my own girl is very "loyal" to us. Daisy's whole demeanour is telling me she is not happy. After alot of heartsearching, I have registered the new girl with the CPL, but they have a very long waiting list, I feel she really needs a family where she will be number 1. In addition, we have 3 outdoor cats who have also taken against the new girl - she displays "dominant" behaviour, and the fine balance of relationships has been upset. I'm not sure if adjustments will ever be made between them - new girl has been around for a while now and there seems to be no progress, if anything its been made worse by the new one living here.
People have told me all sorts of stories about multi cat households where the cats don't get along and squabble in various ways, not sure I want mine to permanently feel anymore on edge - the indoor/outdoor cat balance currently seems to work on a truce basis which the cats themselves have established, with Daisy being the dominant cat, and we "manage" them mostly by ensuring they don't meet in the house, the outdoor ones only being allowed into 1 or 2 rooms downstairs.
I would have liked to keep her permanently but the rest of the family, including the cats have made it clear its not going to work. Whilst I'm happy for the new girl to stay and get some love and care until she's re-homed, I can't see it as a permanent solution for her here, the others have shown they are not happy and Daisy is clearly unhappiest. I still keep wishing they could manage to co-exist!
I'm not sure if there is any single clear answer - all cats are wonderfully different and different things work for them accordingly. It does sound as if you are doing everything right.
When Daisy came to us about 10 years ago, I had a cat already - a female 18 year old, they squabbled and Daisy gave the appearence of being easy-going (as has the new one now, in the house, in Daisy's presence, but the newbie is very dominant with the others, and Daisy growls, hisses and swipes her). Unfortunately, my old cat only lived another 2 years (yes, I know, 20 is pretty good), but I still feel guilt that those last 2 years were unhappy for her.
I think you maybe in a better position, having a male and female, and their relationship will take time to develop, and may not be as loving as you'd like, but don't give up! Plus, don't forget, it takes a while for the neutering effect to kick in - he'll still have some extra hormones. Just be calm and loving with them both, and hope they come to co-exist happily, even if it takes a bit of management. The usual advice is to introduce your cat to the smell of the new one first (i.e keep him in one room for a week or so, whilst the other has the run of the house), then you could try making him spend more time outside whilst your girl is inside so she gets time alone with you (that's what we're doing now). I know it will be hard for him & you to get used to, but he has to make adjustments too - it sounds as if your girl has to make most of them so far. I'm not sure the Feliway & zylkene is the way to go. It could just mask natural behaviours and prolong the difficult adjustment phase. Is it something that you had in place for your girl already, which might suggest she was not a calm kitty to start with?
If, after a while, its cleary not going to work, don't feel bad about finding him a new good home. Other than registering with the CPL, I have spoken to everyone I know to put out feelers to see if anyone could offer her a good home. One of my local (full) cat sanctuaries suggested I advertise her in the local vets as free to a good home that you would go and vet. Have a look at catchat online for sanctuaries etc.
Both your cats sound very lucky to have such a caring parent.
Sorry to have rambled on, just wanted to share my own experience.
Lets hope someone wise will have some advice for us!
Good luck

thank you for your message. it all seems very similar to when we had chester living with us. it got a bit too much for us all as he was attacking our two elderly dogs & our own cat was not coming in the house during the day as she was so unhappy. i was advertising but was prepared to keep him as i could not face putting him a cat sanctury. i advertised in the local papers & our vets but got lucky with a card in the local shop. a lady rang up who had lost her own cat earlier this year to cancer & was ready to take on another cat. she is now chester's new proud owner. he rules the roost as he is the only pet & she spoils him & loves him to bits. i also get to hear how he is getting on as they live just down the road so i get regular updates.
looking back i don't think Feliway & zylkene helped. it didn't calm any of them at all. my own cat was always very easy going and laid back & not at all nervous or stressed before we got chester .. she is now back to her normal self but it did take a couple of weeks before she realised properly that he was no longer in the front room.
a really good thing that happened was my two dogs & cat really bonded & stuck together, they would all huddle up together in the hallway scared stupid whenever chester was near. now he has gone they all still sleep together & our cat sleeps in the middle of the two dogs at night. looks really funny a big german shepherd , a little lhaso apso & a cat!
we were lucky and it is very difficult to find a home for a stray but there is no reason why you don't get some luck too for your cat. perhaps you should also try the local shop notice board? try putting a photo up as that catches peoples attention.
i hope things work out for you, your family & animals. thank god there are good people out there who care so much about animals.
thank you again & lots of luck